Dressed in Pajamas and No Bra, My Daughter Not me,
The 3 of us went in the SUV and only wanted the Chairs but needed negotiation. We found the place and lady came down and was very jovial as had been on the wine..
She was living in a nice tourist apartment block, walk up and was like a Jungle in the walkway to the many apartments. Of course raining and lived on the top floor. Her apartment was so small and renting it but was getting a smaller table and chairs to get more room.
She came down and Let us in and she showed us up to her apartment and we walked behind her up the stairs and her dress was so short and I don’t think she was wearing underwear as we could clearly see her Bicycle Rack and definite signs of Rust on the sides !!!
I tried to do a deal and get the Chairs Only and leave the table for her to resell for free but it was all or nothing, We took the chairs down and then came the tricky part. Managed to get table apart but a 6ft Glass coffee table that was so heavy and only Daughters Boyfriend could lift it and it was slippery and sweaty night and we managed to get it to the entrance of the apartments but Her Boyfriend had Thongs and the Tiles were like a Skating rink,. However he succeeded to get it to the car. No Where to dump it so we loaded into car with the chairs and that was that,
Problem being there were now only 2 seats in the car. I could have gone home and come back for the other person but we managed to get her boyfriend in the passenger seat with my Daughter on top (Sounds Discusting But… eh).
They were worried that the Police would pull us over but I said it was ok as we’d just say it was a Samoan Woman with 2 Heads. We Made it home and should have took Photos as would have won a Major prize. I Really Needed an Isuzu Not a Hyundai (Not So Squeezy)
We got back to apartment and Dumped Table by the bin and someone will take it I expect as legs were there too. we scored 6 Lovely Chairs for $50 so saved her $300 or more..
So That was another amazing Hyundai Moment.,
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However….
After having been told the hair around my arsehole and ball sack needed tidying I decided to take the plunge and do a brazillian. Previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I definitely wasn’t going anywhere near the rusty sheriffs badge with a razor. I ordered some hair removal cream from the internet, thinking if ladies use it, it must be ok.
I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went to the bathroom. Warnings on the product suggested testing a small area first. For wimps thought I. Initially, all went well and I applied the cream and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn’t have long to wait.
At first, there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on removal of my genitalia. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the man hole and what seemed like the melting of the meat and two veg. Struggling not to bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the cream off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom down into the kitchen, by this time walking was impossible and I crawled the final feet to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing returned. Due to the shape of the ice cream tub, I hadn’t managed to give the starfish any treatment and I groped around in the draw for something else as I was sure my vision was going to fail fairly soon. I grabbed a bag of frozen carrots and tore it open trying to be quiet as I did so. I took a handful of them and tried in vain to clench some between the cheeks of my ass. This was not doing the trick as some of the cream had found its way up the ring piece and it felt like the space shuttle was running its engines behind me.
This was probably and hopefully the only time in my life I was going to wish there was a gay snowman in the kitchen which should give you some idea of the depths I was willing to sink to ease the pain. The only solution my pain crazed mind could come up with was to gently ease one of the carrots where no veg had gone before.
Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from my manhood pushing a frozen carrot up my poop shute while muttering “ooooh that feels good” Understandably this was a shock to her and she let out a scream which caused an involuntary spasm of shock which resulted in the carrot being ejected at quite some speed in her direction. I can understand that having a carrot fired into your eye at 11 at night probably wasn’t the special surprise she was expecting and having to explain to the kids the next day her shiner and the strange hollow in the ice cream didn't improve my status…so to sum it up, VEET removes hair, dignity, and self-respect!